Friday, May 23, 2008

Eccentric Embelishments by Bruce Part 1

“Scientist discovers “Sex Rocks”

Ever find yourself asking, “What’s next?”

Well, I’ll tell you. A recent article in the medical journal Wild Things has reviewed human reproduction and now proposes the theory “Sex Rocks.” In this theory, Dr. James Boulder discusses how new technological advances can promote the well-being of women (when are they not well?) which should be of utmost importance in this modern age.

Dr. Boulder relates the anecdote that brought about this theory. “My wife, let’s call her Pookums, is extremely terrified of giving birth, therefore we are as of yet, childless. One day she turned to me and said “Dooky, I’m terrified of giving birth!” What else could I do but find a solution to this problem?”

Fearing that unless he came up with a remedy he would be sleeping in the garage or worse yet, the doghouse, Dr. Boulders put his enormous brain to work and viola- Sex Rocks! Thanks to Dr. Boulder, millions of women across the world will now never know the pains associated with childbirth.

At a recent presentation in New Zealand, Dr. Boulder revealed this new way to give birth and explained the process of “Sex Rocks” to a stunned but thrilled audience of women.

Not wanting to confuse you, dear reader, with all the scientific jargon, we were able to take a picture of a live birth in progress, which I believe does ample justice in explaining the process.
For more information on this revolutionary discovery, please see Moeraki Boulders.


The Pixy Princess said...

Very interesting that the live birth would include a pair of jeans and the oh so debonair socks-and-sandals combo.

Lisa said...

I personally find it interesting that the rocks not only give birth to clothed adults, but that the adults are also breach. Nature sure does have a strange way about it. . . None the less this method seems less painful and easier, as my child would arrive full grown and clothed I would save tons in work and money! I like it! :)